Welcome to the randomness of my day.

So, the boys are playing Call of Duty right this very second…its yeah. ha. They’re really into this game. Its kinda scary sometimes. Haha.
Blah. I'm just kinda chillen till 6…hopefully Steven will call and tell me his surgery went okay. If he doesn’t…well I’ll be pissed. Haha. Nah, I’ll just think the worst and ya know how that goes. Anywho, I'm excited that him and I are talking more…cause it was just once a week there for a while, but its been about every day. I LOVE IT. Cause I miss talking to him so much. Even though our convos are usually stupid and what not, but I do love it. :) My fave IM of all time…

Spc steven Bell (7/16/2009 10:03:52 PM): loser
errinnn828 (7/16/2009 10:04:30 PM): i know. :P
Spc steven Bell (7/16/2009 10:04:39 PM): but i still love u
errinnn828 (7/16/2009 10:04:54 PM): ah. you betterrr. haha.
Spc steven Bell (7/16/2009 10:05:18 PM): what would u say if i told u i didnt
errinnn828 (7/16/2009 10:05:23 PM): cry. :(
Spc steven Bell (7/16/2009 10:05:28 PM): lol
errinnn828 (7/16/2009 10:05:30 PM): haha.
Spc steven Bell (7/16/2009 10:05:32 PM): well
errinnn828 (7/16/2009 10:05:38 PM): well i would.
Spc steven Bell (7/16/2009 10:06:05 PM): i dont
errinnn828 (7/16/2009 10:06:15 PM): :O
Spc steven Bell (7/16/2009 10:06:27 PM): just love u i extremely love u
errinnn828 (7/16/2009 10:07:00 PM): haha. awwwww you punk.

Yeppers, that was the last time we ever talked like that too…stupid bitch. Gr. Ok sorry, she’s not a bitch…or rather I can’t call her a bitch. Actually I bet I could, its just Candi that can’t call her that. xD
Freaking whore, I swear she’ll never learn. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! Ughhh. You said I walked out, so let me go. PLEASE. (sorry, random, I know) I'm just SO frustrated. Like this has been boiling up since like December ’08. When she got into smoking and shit. Then she left for Austin. And came back and I gave her another chance..thinking she had changed..and she has, but not for the better. She disses Steven every time. Ever since that first time he upset me, she’d hated him ever since. Like where is it her position to do that? For reals, she doesn’t even know him. AT ALL. And same goes with David, I swear. She’s just jealous. Jealous that I can actually be happy after having so much tragedy in my life. And she still can’t get over losing Josh…the guy she was in love with. I mean gah. If I can move on with losing my dad…she can move on from that. I know that’s what its got to be. Its just ugh. I'm sick of her controlling me, basically. That’s what she’s doing. Or smothering me rather. Telling me who I can and can’t like or hang out with. Um…you’re not my mother. And even if you were…I STILL wouldn’t listen when it came to that stuff. I’m 19..i can make my own decisions. You don’t want me to get hurt? Then why the hell did you go to my ex..and get him all back missing me and shit. Yeah, I love him, but I don’t need him. There is to much emotional stuff that comes along with him. Cause I broke down to him SO many times. All that shit comes back when you’re laying there at night, just thinking about it. Shit you don't even know about, so just stfu. And I do wanna be friends with him, but he makes it so hard. And You’re one to talk about getting hurt. Least my taste in guys is more mature? I guess. They aren’t just looking for sex. Cause that’s pretty well what all the guys you like are after. I mean, look at Cory. He only kept you interested so someone would visit him in jail. He never loved you. He just wanted to get with you, cause he didn’t the year before. I mean really. They just play with your emotions and its sad really. I know better. Yeah, I might be in over my head with Steven, but I know that I do love him and he’s not just after sex with me. And I also believe that everything he has ever said to me was from his heart. Cause some prick can’t just make that shit up. And no, you don’t know everything about him. Cause some of that stuff is personal and I like to keep it to myself. Same with David, you don’t even fucking know him, and hate him cause he is talking to me. And what like the first week he kept saying lets go get naked in the backwoods. Well after he proposed to me…he didn’t say that shit anymore. Yeah, we joked around about it, but that was the extent. The more we talked, the more we talked about living together and such. Then I had to go and tell him about your stupid ass, and now he barely even talks to me. So I guess I owe you a thanks on that part. You got your wish. Just ugh. I was really starting to fall for David too, but I guess its for the best since Steven and I are talking more now.

I really wish he would get rid of her already. :( he said a couple of months…idk if I can last a few more months without seeing him. I’ll just make him send me pictures. xD haha. I do love him, and who am I kidding we all know I’d wait forever for that boy. Damnit. Haha.
Ok, I spose that’s all, I just needed to vent for a minute or two. :)

-erynn