hiiiya. miss meee??

Ok, so I had to write my blog in Word, cause my keyboard decides it wants to be all gay and shit and type every other letter. And well I just don’t have that kind of time to sit around and punch the same key 50 million times. So..ha.
I feel like a totally different person since I last updated. Like I was wayyy happier then. Idk. Something changed between then and now. Oh wait, I think I know. Steven has been being an ass towards me. All cause of that thing he calls a wife. Whatever. I was never gonna break them up, excuse me for waiting to meet up with a FRIEND of mine when he gets home from Iraq. Its not my fault he ‘fell in love with me’. In fact, I told him not to. Simply cause that would just complicate things…like oh I don’t know right now. He comes home next week. Well he leaves next Friday..well this Friday, in 5 days to come home. I just have this feeling that nothing is gonna go the way we have been hopin? The way I’ve been hoping. I’ve given up on Steven…I just want to be friends with him. I don’t think I can handle his downs…like the highs aren’t enough to keep me around for the lows right now. I don’t need someone depressing in my life right now. Cause if I have that, I’ll be depressed and there is no telling what would happen if that were the case…if that makes sense? I do love him, and he knows that..and I’ll always love him. I'm always gonna be there for him. Nothing on my part is gonna change when he comes home. But I think everything on his part, will. Idkkkkk. I don’t like thinkin about it, but its about all I do think about. Cause I don’t have fucking friends to take my mind off of shit.
Moving on, I want my friends back. I miss them terribly. :(
David is the light in my life right now. He’s in New Mexico at the moment..but will be leavin there TOMORROWWWW! :D me=excited! Haha. Even though I won’t see him, he’ll still be closer than 600 miles. Haha. I haven’t seen him in over a month and its been killin me…slowly but surely. He sent me a picture the other day, and it was the first time I’d see him since the week before my bday when we hung out. It made me smile just seein a PICTURE of him. Me? Falling for him? Nahhh..no way. Ok, maybe a little. But can ya blame me? He calls me every day, we talk for like hours when he does. And we talk like we’re dating..or gonna date. Ya know? Like the other night I said I was cold. And he asked why. I said cause it was cold in the room..cause I don’t have anyone to cuddle with. And he goes its not my fault I'm in NM..i was like yeah huh. Then about 30 mins later he goes you need to come over so I can cuddle with you. I was like well…someone just hassss to be 600+ miles away…and there are other times too, but that was just the most recent. We talked about going to the movies one night. Haha. That we were gonna go when he got back…which would have been great, but nooo…he’s got to go up to the mountains with his friends..and I think he would have asked me to go, but he knows my mum would say no. damn her. Oh and mum likes David…idk why, but she does. Haha. And David is well aware of it too. In fact he loves the fact that she likes him. And uses it against me. Haha. He’s all ‘you’re mom likes me, you’re mom likes me’ ha. I'm like shut up, that’s cause I made you out to be perfecttt. So :P xD anywhoooo, I'm ready for him to come home. :-/ I miss my snowwflakee terribly. Ok, so I never told about the day that he came over…ha. Ok. Story time!
The day was June 22, I had just gotten back from Dallas with my mum and brutha. And was sitting at the house all by my lonesome. Well actually, I was talking to Steven over IM about some shit that was going on..go figure. But anyways, David had called and asked if I was alone, I was like yeppers, and he goes you still want me to come over, I was like if you wanna, I don’t care. And he goes ok. So then we start talking about something else. Them I'm like wait, are you on your way over here? And he goes yep! I was like oh shit, I have to go get pretty…wait, I'm not gonna change, I'm still in my pjs. Ha. So anywaysss, he comes over and I was watching Sex and the City, the movie…ha! And I'm sitting on the couch and he’s sitting on the loveseat (which is beside the couch, but they meet at the corner…if that makes sense?) so anywho, he’s all find something else to watch. Well he decides he wants to watch a moooovie. And goes to my room to look and see what all I have, so I'm like standing behind him, and he concludes that I have all chick flicks. (go figure) and he’s all you need some action movies, does your bro have any? I was like um…I'm sure. So we I find the Bourne Identity movie, and we watch it. Ha. He’s all rub my shoulders and sits in the floor in front of me. Like between my legs. Haha. And well I didn’t..i’m so mean, I know. But I just kept my arms around his neck, like I was going to but didn’t. and we just kind of sat like that for a while, and he was like sliding down the against the couch and he leaned against my leg. :D sorry, flashback and butterflies just hit me. Whoa. Thennnn his mum calls and says something about his puppies, so he had to leave. Well we walk outside, and he’s standing in the garage, and I'm like standing behind him, leanin on him…like I had my arms propped against his back…if you can picture that? And we’re talking, idr what about. And then he decides to poke me, punk. I'm insanely ticklish. Haha. So then he just walks down to his truck, didn’t say bye or anything. I was like wtf loser. Well he was tellin me something but I couldn’t understand him, so he moved the truck up on the driveway over by me. Haha. So I was standin beside the truck, leanin against the window talking to him. We stood out there for a good 30 more mins or so. Haha. Then he’s all ok spaz, (idk why he calls me that) I gotta go. I'm like :( ok. Haha. So then out of nowhere…he leans over and kisses me! :D (hehe) well I was smiling, so you can’t really kiss when you smile..kinda makes it a little hard ya know? So I just give him a simple kiss, like mwah. And I was on my tippy toes. So I pulled back and he just looked at me, and was like I see how it is. I was like whatttt? *innocent look* and I leaned back up toward him. And he goes that’s how its gonna be. I was like well…haha. And he goes alright. And he puts his hand to my chin and pulls me over to him. (sigh) and kisses me again. (sigh sigh sigh, I love when guys do that, sorry) and we kiss again. Thennnn he leaves me. And I watched him pull out of the driveway and all. Which is totally appropriate for his ringtone Think of you later, its like “this is see you later, I'm not into goodbyes, watch my breaklights as I leave your driveway, the warm lights will stay beside me” loveeee that song too. But I never thought it would like come true with him, ya know what I mean? But it was greatttttt. :))))) and that was the last time I saw him. Sadly, he went down to work in lindin, so yeahhh, but it made me feel good that I was the person he spent his last day with…ya know? I mean, I know he went out that night, but still he spent most of the day with meeee. :D haha. Idk, I do like this boy…I hate it though. Haha.
Soooo, I think that gets you up to speed on everything. Mum and me are going to Galveston in a week and a half! I is excited, we’re going to this airplane museum, they have fully restored planes from WWII, so yeah, I love planes, sue me. :P but anywho, I'm excited to just sit out on the beach and be away from everyone. Just wish David was coming with us, but no, he’s gotta be a party pooper and not come along. LOSERRRRR. Haha.
Ok ok, I'm done updating.
-erynn